On November 22, 2014, I woke up and my vision was so blurry I could not read the Bible or I could see a smile on a person face from 4 feet away. After seeing a retina specialist and the specialist telling me that I need to go get blood work done, the next day I checked myself in the hospital. During this time I had the worst roommate in my life, and long story short. I became homeless on November 12, 2015. Couple of days later I started going to group therapy, and took no medication. I was determined to learn how to cope. After a couple of days, people told me I could lead the group. I told them I need to heal and learn how to cope with everything.
Eventhough, I have been a Christian for 25 years, and have a Biblical Studies degree from Gordon College. I did not know I was subconsciously struggling with a lie that I was not lovable. In first grade, I accepted this story after my grandmother passed away from cancer and my uncle was paralyzed in a gang fight. It was not until October 2015 that I became aware of this and asked for God forgiveness from this lie. This lie effect me and how I listen to others. I been told by many people I am a a compassionate and caring person. I did not know how to accept love for I was not allowing to be loved.
I have missed very few days of church over the past 25 years, met and talked to many pastors, and not one talked to be about possible depression. While attending a Christian College no one talked to me about possible depression. Thank God, the Holy Spirit reveled the depression and pointed me in the direction to get the help I neede
March 2016, I started praying for something I never prayed before that God would teach me how to love this lady the way He would want me too. Then weeks later, the Holy Spirit put on my heart to ask Him to teach me how to love others as myself. Couple of days later the idea to travel the United States came to mind.